


Deleted Memories

by byunharuee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, POV First Person, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28759338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byunharuee/pseuds/byunharuee
Summary: A small accident caused you to forget about your boyfriend Oikawa. But was there a reason why you forgot?Meanwhile, Kageyama thinks it's a chance to finally tell you how he feels
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Original Female Character(s), Kageyama Tobio/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Original Female Character(s), Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Deleted Memories

**Author's Note:**

> i saw this prompt on youtube and immediately had to write my own version of this  
> please be warned that this has reference to cheating and this story is just my view about that topic  
> still need to be proofread!

_(Set in year 2017; college au, 2 years after Hinata and Kageyama's graduation; Hinata, Kageyama and Oikawa are all professional volleyball players while the rest are university students)_

_**D - 0** _

"Ow…"

The side of my head throbbed painfully. I touched it to see if I was bleeding or if it was something else, but nothing felt odd about it. Though the throbbing dulls slowly. I looked around to see that I was in my room. The room was dark and from the window, I could see that it was night time. I couldn't remember when I fell asleep, couldn't remember how I got back in my room. 

"You're awake!" The door opened to reveal my mom coming in the room, relief washing over her face as she leaned closer. "How are you feeling? Do you need water? Tea?" 

"I'm fine," I answered, though it bothered me how she seemed so worried. "What happened…?" 

She brushed my hair behind my ear. "You collapsed in the middle of the streets. You've been asleep since yesterday, you know." 

I tried to rake my memories of such thing, but I couldn't remember anything from that day. 

"Doctor said you fainted from fatigue and said you just needed rest so we brought you home..." she explained further and I nodded along. "Is everything okay?" she asked, worry coming back in her eyes. "You had been looking tired these days." 

"Um…" I thought of it deeply. "Nothing? Everything's fine, Mom." Which really was. While school workload was starting to pile up, I didn't remember stressing too much about it. 

"Well, I'll go get you water. Why don't you call your friends? They've been worried sick, you know." She brushed my hair once more before leaving the room to do as she said. 

An entire day…I've been asleep for that long. I must had been really exhausted. Reaching to my phone by the night stand, I started dialing my friends' numbers. 

  
It took only an hour for the living room to start getting noisy. Yachi and Kiyoko came first, hugging me like I'd been gone forever. Then, Hinata and Nishinoya came, who immediately went for the video game console. Kageyama and Tanaka came next, joining the two boys. My mom happily made snacks for my friends and I happily chatted away with them. It felt like any other day, when the gang would gather to hang out on free time and I savored the moment.

After all, it had been tough to find time to meet up ever since graduation. With everyone choosing different paths and different universities, with Hinata and Kageyama joining the country's volleyball league and slowly making their way to professional competitions, times like these I always appreciated.

"Oh no!" I exclaimed, suddenly remembering something. "My essay was due yesterday!" I panicked. I'd been aiming for straight As as graduation approaches so I couldn't afford to miss any major assignments.

"Relax," Kiyoko patted my back in reassurance. "I already emailed the professor and told him what happened." 

"Kiyoko-chan, you're a lifesaver!" I hugged her tightly. She only giggled on my shoulder, hugging me back. 

"By the way, Hinata," Yachi calls the tangerine-haired boy. "Your match next week…is it in Tokyo?" 

"Yep! You guys are coming, right?" 

"Of course!" I answered. 

Kageyama, who had been focused on the game, turned around. "Wait, wait! You promised-" he stopped himself, pouting and then murmuring the next words. "you were gonna cheer for me." 

Oh, I remembered. I did promise that I was gonna watch Kageyama's game, though I wasn't aware it was gonna be around the same as Hinata's match. 

"Don't be so clingy, Kageyama. It's not a good color on you," Hinata chastises to which the blueberry-eyed man answered back with a fist on Hinata's head. 

I laughed as they start to bicker, with Yachi sighing and trying to stop them from escalating their fight. 

"It's fine, Kageyama," Tanaka added in, still focused in the middle of the game. "Your match doesn't start until hours after Hinata's." 

"Oh cool!" I clasped my hands together in glee, scooting over to sit myself in between Hinata and Kageyama. "It works out! Now, I can cheer for both my boys." 

Arms around their necks, I pulled them in side hugs that had both of them complaining. 

  
The doorbell rang inside the house and I was looking up to see who it could be. It was already late at night and I wasn't really expecting anyone else. 

"Oh! That's probably Oikawa-san." Yachi perked up, jumping off the couch to run to the door. 

Hinata made a grunt of dissatisfaction while Kageyama frowned. "Why did you invite the Grand King..."

"It's natural, Hinata," Kiyoko commented. 

I hum to myself. It must be Yachi's friend, though I was curious as to why she would invite a friend to my house this late at night. They must be a really close friend of Yachi's…

"Oikawa-san's here!" Yachi announced as she appeared back in the living room. Behind her was a tall man. Quite a good looking man, might I add.

"Welcome, Tohru-kun," my mother greeted from the kitchen familiarly. The newcomer bowed to her then looked at my friends. 

"You guys…really don't have anything to do," he commented, a sneer on his face as he eyed everyone. 

"Shut up, Oikawa!" Tanaka yelled, about to engage in a fight until Kiyoko merely cleared her throat and he was sitting back down like an obedient puppy. 

It was then that I met eyes with the newcomer, my eyes looking down on the bouquet of flowers he was holding. For a quick moment, he looked away then looked back at me, seemingly hesitant. 

It felt awkward not greeting him in my own house so I stood up, waving meekly and sending him a quick hello. 

The little greeting had him looking away again before he sighed and walked towards me. "Here." He stopped right in front of me and handed me the flowers he had. My eyes widened in surprise. From next to me, I could hear Kiyoko and Yachi audibly cooing and could feel the boys staring. "U-um, thanks?" 

I didn't think being asleep for a day deserved a beautiful bouquet from a stranger, but the polite thing to do was to accept it. 

He looked straight into my eyes, a look I couldn't quite describe. Why…doe he look at me with those eyes? 

Though I could barely process it when suddenly I was being hugged by the male, resting his head on top of mine, crushing the flowers in between our bodies. "I'm so glad you're okay." 

My breath was caught in my throat, blush creeping up to my ears. What…was happening? My heart beat painfully in my chest and with the breath I took, I could smell him. I couldn't remember how long we were hugging, I frozen in that position, but eventually, I became more aware that my friends and my mom were all there to see, that I was being held in an embrace in the middle of the room. 

Regaining my rationality, I pushed him as hard as I could and the man stumbled back on his feet, eyes widening and jaw dropping. 

"I- I appreciate the flowers, but you can't just hug me out of nowhere!" I scream in embarrassment. "I- I don't even know who you are!" 

The sound of the game in the background was all I could hear as the entire room falls in an awkward silence. I looked around to see everyone's eyes were on me. Shouldn't they be alarmed that a stranger was hugging me? Why are they looking at me like I was the one who had something wrong?

"Is this…a joke?" the newcomer said, as if in disbelief. 

Softly, I could hear Kiyoko calling my name, like a little murmur under her breath. 

It was then that I realized that something was definitely strange. "Did…I say something weird?"

_**D - 1** _

The Doctor said there was nothing odd about my brain scan. Though I did hit my head on the fall, nothing seemed to be out of ordinary. He only recommended more time for me to recall back my memories. 

At one point, the doctor questioned my truthfulness, a subtle accusation that didn't go past my mother. Normally a quiet woman, my mother firmly questioned him back, of why he was accusing her daughter of lying. 

I sat on the side, not saying anything, because in my head, I questioned whether I was faking it or not. Hell, I didn't know myself. But even as I shook my head of any memories of that person, nothing seemed to come out but a painful sensation in my chest. 

It was as if my heart was breaking. It was a feeling like I'd lost something. It was a feeling that made me cry. 

Or maybe it was just the overwhelming feeling of realizing I was missing a crucial information of my life.

  
Oikawa Tohru. A professional volleyball player like the boys. Two years older than Hinata and Kageyama. According to everyone, we had been dating for two years. 

All my memories from childhood until now were intact. All my memories from the last two years were intact. Yet, I couldn't remember a thing about him. 

  
Despite my current dilemma, I had to pretend nothing was wrong. I had to, not when my mother and my father looked at me like I was a fragile thing about to break. Not when my friends look at me as if I was the most pitiful person in the world. 

So I smiled, reassured them that the memories will come back and the next day I went to school like it was any ordinary day. But focusing in my classes was a lot harder than I thought it would. 

Two years worth of memories of one person has been wiped clean from my brain. And the way that person had look at me with such sadness and fear in his eyes never left my mind since that night. How could I forget someone who could look at me with those eyes?

A huge sigh escaped my mouth, the school lunch from the cafeteria barely touched. Eventually, I had to see that person again, but what if I still couldn't remember him then?

Would I need to pretend like my memories had come back? That my memories never disappeared and that incident had just been a cruel prank on my part? Would I need to pretend that I'm comfortable with his touches, that if he kissed me and made love to me, I would see a man I'd been in love with and not a stranger holding me? 

  
_**D - 2** _

I was careful not to worry everyone, but my avoidance of bringing up the issue was too obvious for them. Yachi and Kiyoko never pried, respected the notion to not mention his name, but their concerned eyes said a lot, like they wanted to ask badly. 

I had many questions I wanted to ask. Who was he? How did we meet? Why could I not remember him and only him? But somehow, I was scared to ask, unsure of who to ask. Mom seemed familiar with Oikawa Tohru, but she told me there wasn't much she could tell me about him. She told me that the one who could help me the most to regain my memories was the person I was forgetting himself. But… I was hesitant to see him, hesitant to ask. 

Maybe I was afraid to see the hurt in his eyes again. Maybe I was still in denial. Whatever the reason was, I could only come up with the resolve of avoiding the issue and him altogether.

"Don't be too sad," Kiyoko tried to comfort me. "You'll remember him eventually. It'll come back to you." 

"Yes, yes!" Yachi agreed. 

"I don't doubt that," I told them, but the hesitation still seeped through my voice. "It's just- why? Why did I forget him?" Why did I forget only him? 

"Well, you know, I've seen this happen before. In a drama!" Yachi perked up. "And in the drama, the reason the person who got amnesia and forget that one person is because that person is the most special person to them. It meant that they really really loved them." 

It was a sweet theory, one that would make sense somehow. I must had really love this guy.

_**D - 3** _

"W-what happened?!" Yachi panicked the moment she saw me. I groaned internally as she squeezed my face in both her hands. I thought I did a great job at hiding the puffiness of my eyes with the makeup but seeing Yachi's reaction, it still seemed pretty obvious. "Have you been crying?"

"Um…" I was too tired to neither admit nor deny her question and I let her pull me in a hug, relaxing on her shoulder. Truth be told, I was too tired to meet up with her, but I already made a promise to spend time with her then that I would be feel bad if I canceled the last minute. 

"It's okay. You'll get your memories back soon," she reassured. "Everything will be okay." 

God knows I wished for the same thing this entire time.

_**D - 2** _

"Tobio-chan's here!" Your mom called from downstairs. Not expecting Kageyama's visit, I wrapped a blanket around me and headed downstairs. 

Kageyama stood in the living room while my mother retreated back upstairs. 

"Hey. You didn't tell me you were coming by. What's up?" 

Kageyama pursed his lips and handed me a plastic bag quietly. "I picked it up on the way." He still got his white shirt and volleyball shorts on, his gym bag slung on one shoulder. His hair was damped from a fresh shower and judging by the wet patches on his shoulders and collar, it looked like he didn't do a good job at drying them. 

"What's this?" I opened the bag to see little snacks from convenience store. Two banana milk bottles, a curry bun, two onigiri, and a few small chocolate bars. They're all my favorite snacks, from the brands that I like and the exact same flavors I would get. 

It reminded of the times when practices would be over and we would head to Ukai's store. We would make a ruckus inside, perusing through the aisle before grabbing meat buns on the way back home. Kageyama and Hinata would always try to steal each other's meat buns that eventually I would just get an extra and split it for them. (Even then, Kageyama would end up stealing my half-bitten one and steal Hinata's half.)

I giggled at the memory. "Thank you, Kageyama. But…why?" 

"Yachi-san told us you've been crying since- since that thing," he answered. "So, I thought I'd try to cheer you up a little." 

Kageyama has always been so kind to me. Despite his cold exterior and his permanent scowl, he had always been a great friend to me and the others. "Thank you…"

"Of course! In return, when I win my next match, treat me to ramen after." 

"Eh? I don't know if that's a fair trade!" I whined, but Kageyama crossed his arms and turned away, already convinced of his idea. Despite my protesting, I couldn't help but feel warm inside. "Fine. So make sure you win, okay?"

Smiling up to him, Kageyama smiled back confidently. "That goes without saying."

_**D - 1** _

The time had come for me to see him again. It had been him to first contact me, sending me a text message in the morning when I woke up. At first glance, it sounded like a stranger I just met asking me on a date, but the content of the words in it was a lot deeper than anyone would guess. 

It read: I'm sorry to text you out of the blue, but I'd like to take you somewhere today. Would you like to meet up?

The park we agreed to meet up in was packed and I spotted him just standing by the fountain, looking down on his phone. When he spotted me, he didn't wave or anything, just simply smiled. 

"Hi," was my awkward greeting. 

"Hey." The way he looked has my heart beating really fast. "Actually…this isn't where I wanted to take you. Will you come with me?" 

I was hesitant, the little mannerism not going past his observant eye. "Don't worry. I won't touch you or anything that would make you feel uncomfortable. I know I should had contacted you sooner, but I wanted to give you some space. Of course, I thought about how to go about our- your issue right now and thought I could take you to places that might jug your memories."

That made a lot of sense. Mom did say that he would be the one who could help me the most to get my memories back. Though still hesitant, I nodded in agreement. 

The place he took me wasn't what I expected. After all, it was a place I frequented when Karasuno went to nationals back in high school.

"This is where we first met," he started as we stood just by the entrance of the Gymanium. "Do you…remember anything?" 

He looked at me, hopeful, but I could only shake my head. His shoulders slumped and he looked down a he sighed. "Well, that day… I mistook you for a fan since you were staring at me so intently. I thought you were just being shy," he snickered as he looked afar, as if remembering a distant memory in his mind. "So I approached you and signed the milk carton you were holding. You didn't say anything but when I started walking away, you threw the milk carton and hit my head. Then you yelled 'You weirdo!' which totally confused me." 

He sat by one of the concrete benches, looking up in the sky as he stretched his legs. "Then I found out you were with Karasuno and you were friends with my _kohai_ *. I hated you after." _(*junior; someone from school or work who is younger)_

Kiyoko's mentioned it. How Oikawa and I hated each other at first, how we would bicker every time we see each other. It wasn't until college that we met up again by coincidence and it was then that we started dating. At that time, according to her, the boys almost murdered Oikawa.

It wasn't love at first sight, but it seemed that we might had liked each other before we even realized it ourselves. 

"I'm sorry," I spoke up, looking straight into his eyes. "I'm sorry I don't remember-" _you_. He was surprised at first before the pain in his eyes returned once more. 

His sigh sounded like it was worth years of self-blaming. "No…I should be the one saying sorry," he said, face buried in his palms, looking so defeated. He was a tall young man, oozing confidence and charm. But at that moment with his shoulders slumped and back slouched, he looked…small. "This is all my fault."

  
_**D - 0** _

Hinata's team won their first match. Later that day, Kageyama's team crushed their opponents. Naturally, the group celebrated. 

We splurged on an all-you-can-eat barbecue place and later on, got drunk and went crazy in karaoke. At one point during dinner, the issue with Oikawa was brought up. 

"Oh. Well, we decided to stay friends for now," I told them. "Until I regained my memories at least." 

That day, he had walked me back, Oikawa seemed to have understood that touching made me feel uncomfortable so he kept the safe distance. It was I who had suggested to stay friends and although I felt he wanted to say more, I didn't say anything to change my suggestion. After some silence, Oikawa smiled and said 'sure'. 

"I wonder if Oikawa-san is really okay with that…" Kiyoko mused to herself. When I asked her what she meant, she just shook her head and moved on to the next topic. 

Tanaka and Nishinoya were drunk out of their wits that Kiyoko and Yachi ended up taking care of them, hailing a cab and riding with them back. 

Surprisingly, Hinata and I were the ones ended up taking care of a drunk Kageyama who spouted all kinds of nonsense in and out of his drunken state. Amidst the ride, Hinata asked to be dropped off somewhere else. 

"Sorry! I'll be staying with Kenma tonight," he apologized profusely for leaving you to take care of Kageyama. 

"Don't worry about it. Be careful okay?" 

"Yes!" As if he didn't drink a single drop of alcohol that night, Hinata ran down the streets in high energy. 

It was a struggle trying to carry the giant back to his apartment. I felt bad for slapping him to keep him awake way too many times, but there was no way I could have carried his body the whole way up. Fortunately, I was able to carry him to his bed where Kageyama slipped to dream land pretty quickly. 

I hoped he'd be fine for tomorrow's match. I should had looked after him better and kept him from drinking too much, but all the while, I had been pre-occupied of the thoughts of Oikawa Tohru despite being surrounded by my friends. 

I took off Kageyama's shoes, took off his bag and covered him with a blanket. I left the room to bring him a glass of water, leaving a couple of painkiller pills on the night stand. He was gonna need it when he wakes up. Briefly, I wondered if I should come back in the morning to make him a hangover soup before his game. 

"Kageyama…" I called to him. "I'm leaving now. I'm taking your key with me so I could lock the door, but I'll be back tomorrow morning, okay?"

I didn't expect him to open his eyes but I assumed he was still feeling hazy. I smiled at him and brushed his hair off his face. "Goodnight."

Turning away to leave, I was pulled back on the bed by a hand around my wrist. "Kageyama?" 

Gone is the silly drunkard just earlier that night. Kageyama looked at me with an intense gaze, so serious that I felt the air dropped around us. 

I attempted to change the air, "What? Does Kageyama not want me to leave him by himself?" It was supposed to be silly, with no real meaning to it but just an empty teasing, but Kageyama's firm 'yes' sends a shiver down my skin. 

"Don't go," he said. 

Flustered, I tried to pull my hand away, but Kageyama held me there firmly, his other hand holding my arm and pulling me closer. "Are you going back to him?" 

"…what?" 

"Don't go back to him." 

"I- don't…"

His face was so close to mine. I could smell the stench of the alcohol in his breath, but I couldn't look away from his gaze. I couldn't say a word. 

"I- Y- you're drunk right now-" I managed to spill out of my trembling lips and attempted to break away once more.

But Kageyama called my name with such longing I never heard him use before. "Don't go back to him." His next words caught me by surprise. Because the me who had been friends with him for a long time never knew, never heard him say the words, never noticed before. But right at that moment, Kageyama laid himself bare for me to see, for his words to finally reach me.

"I have liked you…for a very long time."

**Author's Note:**

> always appreciate comments! let me know if you have questions!
> 
> if you'd like to read a more fluff readerxeveryone story, im also currently working on this: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28123113/chapters/68907288


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